Who’s Your Guru?

By Michael Applebaum, MD, JD, FCLM

This past week, I received a number of inquiries about a series of workouts that appeared on one of the Big 4 broadcast television networks.

In the segments, “The (insert name of program) fitness expert” was demonstrating how in only 5 minutes per day, by following the offered routine, one can lose fat and get fit.

This expert is only partially correct.  Following the routine will not get you “F-I-T”.  It will actually get you only the “I-T” preceded by two different letters, one of which is an “S.”

In answer to the inquiries, “After viewing the broadcasts of 4 of the 5 segments and reading about all of the routines on the show’s Website, in my opinion, the advice is worse than worthless.  It is harmful.  Why?  You will not only be harmed through wasted time and effort, you will also be harmed from being mislead into believing that any of that tripe works.  Those are my opinions.  Thank you for asking.”

A brief digression.  I am glad to have been asked to evaluate this material.  For years I’d wondered, “Why do clouds manufacture toilet paper?”  Advertisements for White Cloud brand toilet paper showed industrious clouds producing TP.  If from clouds feces fell, then they would need toilet paper.  I get that, assuming clouds were hygienic and wanted to remain clean.  But that does not explain why we have such weenie windshield wipers.  I mean, if clouds precipitated solid waste wouldn’t we need stronger windshield wipers?  Not to mention fortified umbrellas.  Or why the air smells fresh after a rainfall.  So clouds must not storm stool.  Then why do they make the stuff?  Responding to these queries provided the answer.  Clouds need to manufacture toilet paper to clean themselves of all the crap we send up via the air waves in the broadcast band.  They just sell us their overstock.

This was not the first time I have been requested to render an opinion about the fitness-related trash provided courtesy of the media outlets.  To help people determine on their own if the information they are receiving is useless or worse, I am suggesting the following guidelines.  By the way, the following lists are non-exhaustive.

1. Ask yourself, “Who’s your ‘guru’?”  If the answer is:

• An overfat talk show host, especially one who is so rich as to have their own chef, trainer, support team, etc. and is still overfat

• An overfat psychologist, psychiatrist, physician, etc., especially one who claims to have helped people with weight problems but can’t help a rich benefactor television personality lose the fat

• An overfat psychologist, psychiatrist, physician, etc., afraid or unwilling to show his/her body (i.e., the results of his/her program)

• The personal trainer of a celebrity, whose client, the celebrity, is overfat

• An overfat anybody selling a “diet” product

• Someone with weird “facts”: like the stomach growls or hunger strikes when the body switches from burning carbs to burning fat; the best exercise to lose weight, build muscle and prevent cancer is (for example) jumping up and down; someone who is a proponent of a “toxic organ” diet without proving organ toxicity

• An overfat “diet expert” or “fitness expert”

• An “infotainment” show host whose job is to entertain you, not to tell you the facts

• Someone who is selling “what works” and will profit from its sale

• A person with a really great body who “never” would have achieved their results without Product X

• Anyone who looks good to you and did not achieve their results using the system or product being promoted

• A fitness model hawking a product

• Any famous person (celebrity, athlete, etc.)

  You should think twice or more about following the “guru.”

  2. Ask yourself, “What is the product?”  If the answer is:  

• A weight loss supplement

• Something you consume that “burns fat”

• A food supplement

• A “strength trainer” that results in weight loss

• An “aerobic trainer” that builds muscle

• A “mat routine” that burns fat, builds muscle, gives you washboard abs and tones your body—even if it comes with a DVD

• An exercise machine that will get you the body you have always dreamed of and it will be EASY!

• A piece of home exercise equipment that lets you do you a “gym-full” of exercises

• Home exercise equipment that is “club quality”

• A mail order diet kit, diet book, etc.

• A muscle-building pill, powder, beverage, etc.

• Something you ingest that is consumed by a particular people who live longer, healthier lives

• Things used by an ancient and wise culture (even if instructions are included)

• Something you rub on or apply to your body

• Devices that intentionally give you an electric shock

• Any “diet” product

• Any “weight loss” product

  You should think twice or more about purchasing the product.

  3. Ask yourself, “What is the claim?”  If the answer is:

• EASY results

• QUICK results

• Weight loss of greater than one pound in a week

• “Clinically proven”

• Eat all you want and still lose weight

• Lose weight and eat all the fatty foods you want or can

• Any product you ingest that “takes the weight off and keeps it off”

• Any product whose claims have not been reviewed by the FDA

• The results you want in X weeks (usually 6)

• Guaranteed results in 30 days or your money back

• Weight loss and improved endurance from exercising less than 20 minutes per day

• Weight loss and improved endurance from exercising 3 or fewer days per week

• “Detoxifies” an organ

• Works together with or as part of a "sensible diet"

• Works together with or as part of an "exercise program"

  You should think twice or more about believing the claim.

 I hope that these suggestions will be helpful to you.  Good luck.