Homeopathic Fitness

By Michael Applebaum, MD, JD, FCLM

Just as I am trying to remain open to convincement that the cortisol thing is really not the pimple on the butt of the body of weight loss literature, so too, am I trying to remain open to the fitness advice of the real experts.

You know, the ones on TV.

The advice they give is minimalist.  The sessions are at most a few minutes in duration, the exercises are something MacGyver could fashion from string, bleach and flatus and the routines are as challenging as snoring.  The promised results are fantastic.

I used to diss the gurus because of their lousy bodies, mediocre appearances and ignorance of fact and science.

But now I think I am finally catching on.

The following is from http://www.naturalhealers.com/qa/homeopathy.html#q1a:

Homeopathic medicine is “[B}ased upon the theories of the German physician Samuel Hahnemann… in the United States the homeopathic drug market is a multimillion-dollar industry…Basic research in homeopathy has involved investigations into the chemical and biological activity of highly diluted substances. This particular aspect of homeopathic theory and practice has caused some modern scientists to question homeopathic medicine. Critics of homeopathy contend that such extreme dilutions of the medicines are beyond the point at which any active molecules of the medicine can theoretically still be found in the solution. On the other hand, scientists who accept the potential benefits of homeopathic theory suggest several theories to explain how highly diluted homeopathic medicines may act. Using recent developments in quantum physics, they have proposed that electromagnetic energy in the medicines may interact with the body on some level. Researchers in physical chemistry have proposed the "memory of water" theory, whereby the structure of the water-alcohol solution is altered by the medicine during the process of dilution and retains this structure even after none of the actual substance remains.”

Just so we are clear, homeopathy is based on a “less is more” approach.  In homeopathy, you take a substance and dilute it to remarkably thinned down proportions.  The diluter, the better.  Here is an example of the dilution amount apparently used in homeopathy (assuming the calculation is correct.  I did not double-check the math.  In any event, homeopathic dilutions are amazing.).  You decide about the conclusion:

“Today I looked at an Arnica (herbal medicine used for sprains and bruises) product, on the recomendation of a friend. It contained 30X Arnica montana. That product certainly contains no Arnica montana at all, as it was diluted to 0.00000 00000 00000 00000 00000 00001 (10^-30 or ten to the minus 30 power) of its original strength. So much for "active" ingredients.”  From http://www.jimloy.com/pseudo/homeo.htm

In some ways, though not precisely, it is like being in a room and someone farts.  The bigger the room, the better it is for you because the business portion of the fart gets more diluted.

The gurus are practicing homeopathic fitness!  Stupid of me not to have realized it sooner.  They advocate an extremely diluted amount of exercise so you have enough memory of having done it to tell your friends that you “worked-out.”

Well, so much for homeopathic fitness.  Perhaps in a future rant I will write about these gurus, their followers and media supporters.

I will call that rant, “Homeopathic Intelligence."