CACA Winner – Oprah Winfrey

REMEMBER: The CACA is all about what I/we don’t understand. It does not suggest that the person, product or service is in any way dishonest, untruthful, scamming, etc. It simply acknowledges that we do not understand how it is scientifically correct, honest, truthful, logical or legit. By submitting someone or something for a CACA or awarding to someone or something a CACA, we are admitting our own shortcomings, not theirs.

I cannot vouch for the current existence of any quotes or images I present in a CACA plea for help in understanding. For example, websites change and people may remove things that are revealed to be wrong, mistaken, etc. However, all images and quotes did exist at one time.

Here is picture of the new, improved Kirstie Alley, who even on her best days (which supposedly these are), is big. And fat.

This was her greatly anticipated reveal on the Oprah Show. There’s a lot to reveal.

Reveal? Possibly a better question is how does she hide it? Answer: she can’t. (BTW, could someone explain to me why she is wearing hose under a bikini?)

Kirstie apparently lost a bunch of weight.

“Determined to drop a few dress sizes, Kirstie became a spokesperson for the Jenny Craig weight loss program.” From

If she was so “determined,” then why did she need to become a spokeswoman for Jenny Craig to lose the weight?

Unlike most real people, she is likely being paid a king’s ransom to shed some pounds and make it appear as if Jenny Craig is a successful approach to weight loss.

I don’t think it is. And, sorry Jenny, a hefty paycheck won’t make me thing otherwise.

Even on her best days, Oprah is big. And fat.

Here is a picture of Oprah next to Kirstie. Oprah looks bigger and fatter than Kirstie.

I hope that we are not treated to an Oprah bikini reveal a la Kirstie.

Oprah is one of those fat people out there providing weight loss advice.

She is a failure at it. Weight loss that is. She is successful at providing (bad) advice.

I do not understand why people listen to her or her stable of experts.

For example, there is Dr. Phil, a big fellow:

Then there is Jorge Cruise and David Katz who, among other things:

deny the Laws of Thermodynamics,

state that you can gain one pound of muscle in a month while in a caloric deficit,

say that muscle controls one’s resting metabolism,

falsely claimed (as near as I can tell) that Yale endorsed their diet scheme and

fantasize that muscle burns 50 Calories per pound at rest

I discuss this in another CACA (see the CACAs “Jorge Cruise” and “Jorge Cruise--Again!”)

And there is Barry Sears, The Zone Guy. He went from this:

To this big fellow, presumably following his own diet:

It is claimed that Oprah does/did the Zone thing. This is from

July 2006

Oprah on the Zone diet.

According to the latest New Idea, the lead story tells of Oprah Winfrey's success on the Zone Diet after being inspired by Jennifer Aniston. Jennifer is a long time Zone Diet enthusuiast who recently helped Vice Vaughn slim down after gaining 23 kilos for the movie The Break-up.
Since starting the Zone diet it is reported that Oprah has been losing a kilo per week.

It is further claimed that Oprah did the South Beach thing. This is from


Interview with 'South Beach Diet' Author Dr. Arthur Agatston

Aired January 2, 2004 - 07:42   ET


BILL HEMMER, CNN ANCHOR: Weight loss is often one of the top items when people list their New Year's resolutions. One eating plan that's causing a sensation has everyone from Bill Clinton to Oprah Winfrey hooked -- "The South Beach Diet" by Dr. Arthur Agatston, America's best-selling non-fiction book last year.

This is a picture of Art:

He seems a bit like a big fellow, too.

Now she has this Oz guy and his diminutive sidekick Roizen. Oz is the stage presence, Roizen, the audience member. I think they do this because Roizen would need to sit on a telephone book to be seen on stage.

These guys are also misdirected, concentrating on the “so whats” of weight loss.

Oprah even has a personal trainer, Bob Greene. He has been in her life since 1992. He tells people to get with the program. So does Oprah. So did Oprah. Look where the program got her. (See above. In case you don’t know, Oprah is the fatter one.)

Still she and he push it.

In fact, they are reportedly writing a book together on just how utterly she failed on the plan they push and the others she undertook. The book is due out in January 2007 and has reportedly received the largest advance in publishing history.

Bottom line is that Oprah appears to have done it all, failed at all and still recommends/recommended them all.

And people listen to her.

I guess that I could give her public a CACA, but that is not the point.  

Oprah gets the CACA because she has the temerity to be an advice-giver, expert chooser and opinion-maker in a domain where she is by all objective standards a failure. I am curious to know why. And why she just doesn’t shut up.

She might find that with practice, she could close her mouth when food approaches, too.

If someone out there can explain all this to me, I'd be grateful.